Featured Men's Coach: Saulis From Saulis Dating
This is a post in our featured member series. We go through different members in our community and discuss their experiences and growth.
Hi Saulis, Can you give us a little background about yourself?
Hey, sure. I’m someone who has spent my teen years cooped up inside playing video games, all to the detriment of my social skills. I remained a virgin until 19 because I didn’t go out and socialize all that much, except with my buddies, and just focused on something I loved doing – gaming.
My goal was to become a professional gamer, but then I noticed that achieving this goal would most likely come at the cost of everything else because I started to neglect every other aspect of my life. So, one day, once some mild depression had set in, I decided that I don’t want to live like this anymore and that I needed to balance out my life - that things had to change, or I would remain alone, miserable, and unfulfilled.
So, long story short, I simply decided to improve myself as a person and to learn social skills from complete scratch.
At first, I read a couple of basic books on social skills – and then it was all pretty much about forcing myself to go outside and talk to as many people as I could find, both women and men of all ages; adults, teens, the elderly, and even children. I did this everywhere; on the street, in parks, shopping malls, at the beach, at the gym – simply approach and improvise. The PUA community was then in its infancy, but I did read some stuff by David DeAngelo, and checked out some early stuff by RSD – which helped me in many ways and put certain things in perspective, but I wasn’t fully convinced by it. It seemed too disingenuous, and contrived.
As a result, I decided to mostly do things on my own and literally approached thousands of people each and every month, exposing myself to as much awkwardness, pressure, and rejection as possible. I wanted to learn how to have people like me for me, and for women to enjoy my company – by being honest, genuine, and above all, authentic.
Quite obviously, it was very brutal at first! But then, after a lot of trial and error, I started seeing rapid improvements because most interactions started to become boring and mundane – and very similar to one another - until I started speaking passionately about the things that I like and enjoy – and connecting with other people by then finding out about the things that they are passionate about.
Hint – everyone is passionate about something – but most people won’t share their passions unless you share yours first.
After I made this shift, I started noticing a lot of very similar but positive things in nearly every interaction, and began to understand what works, and what doesn’t, when talking to people. Finally, I started to use this new knowledge to help me achieve my goals with women - which at first was simply to get laid a lot.
By that point, I also began to improve myself as a person in general; reading various books for general knowledge, developing my sense of humor, going to the gym to work out, improving my body language, posture, tone of voice, and everything else I could find about myself that could use some improvement.
nd, as luck would have it, I also started working as a professional bartender – which skyrocketed my grasp of social dynamics and improved my social skills even further because I received the opportunity to talk to hundreds of beautiful women nearly every day!
After a couple of years of both this and approaching thousands of people each month – a new man was born. Unsurprisingly, I started to get laid like there’s no tomorrow – often 1 to 3 different girls EVERY SINGLE DAY that I went out. My roommates were in awe, and a few became super jealous seeing me pull women back and forth from my room.
Eventually, other people I knew started noticing this radical change, and started asking me to teach them what I know. I did, and they also started to see rapid improvements in their results with women, and with people in general.
And that is pretty much that – the very short version of my story. Word of mouth spread, and people started giving me money for this knowledge, and I embraced becoming a seduction and self-improvement coach – even if it’s just a hobby - a passion project of mine, since I make my living doing something else.
Skip to now, I’m in an awesome and serious relationship with an amazing woman, going 3 years strong – and my pickup days are behind me, even though we do go out and find girls for the occasional threesome. In the end, during nearly a decade of self-improvement, I have become a more confident, interesting, fun, and exciting person to hang around with, and have been with somewhere around a thousand women – I honestly lost track, and eventually stopped caring about counting.
I then wrote a book with what I think is my best material containing my most valuable knowledge, put it up online, and most people seem very happy after having read it, e-mailing me that I’ve changed their lives. Now I’m in the process of writing an Inner Game Course, and after that, a Relationship Course.
That said, I still feel nervous sometimes, I still feel weird, awkward, anxious from time to time – because I’m human, and I’m not perfect. I learned to deal with these and various other emotions, and came to understand that you simply can’t remove them because it’s human nature, and necessary for a healthy and happy life. The point is to accept them, embrace them, and still do the things that you want to do anyway.
The point of all this is to develop naturally attractive character traits, improve yourself and your personality until you become a man who likes himself, enjoys his own company, does not seek attention or validation from others – and can handle himself around women.
Women seem to respond very deeply to men who are Fun, Interesting, Exciting, all while being Vulnerable, Genuine, and Authentic. It is my deep belief that anyone can learn how to become such a man, but it takes a decent amount of time and effort.
Doing so on my own took me nearly a decade. With help, people can achieve this within weeks, or months, depending on the severity of their psychological problems.
What made you want to join Menprovement Chat?
I was asked to join by one of the founding members after what I assume was them reading some of my material – and though “Hey, why not? I’ll check it out and see if I like it. Maybe it can help me expand my brand and get in touch with other coaches who teach self-improvement.”
How has it been so far for you?
It’s been great. I enjoy being in a community of like-minded individuals. I’ve met some awesome people, and have already gotten a ton of value, particularly regarding business practices, from a few of the other coaches. And, on several occasions, it inspired me to write some blog posts, and even helped me kill some free time chatting with people.
What do you think makes this community different from others?
People are definitely more sincere here than in other places I’ve frequented, and have no problems discussing their issues and problems openly when trying to find ways to fix them – which is a huge help and step in the right direction when it comes to actually overcoming ones problems!
Other than that, from what I’ve seen, most people here are super helpful.
What is next for you?
Hopefully to develop my blog and website into a resource which helps men deal with their various insecurities and self-esteem issues that prevent them from being great with women, and other people in general. Self-improvement is a continuous process, and there’s always something to become better at.
Then maybe learn about marketing, or find a legit marketing expert who can help me with my brand, for a share of the profits.
To find my blog, visit http://www.saulisdating.com/blog
While you’re there, I highly suggest you sign up for my newsletter. You won’t receive any marketing bullshit as there currently is none, and will instead get most of my Inner Game Course that I’m currently working on with the help of a behavioural psychologist and therapist, for free, straight to your inbox. Once I’m done developing it into a full-fledged course of 25 very in-depth lessons, it will no longer be available for free.